I accidentally read two parenting books back to back yesterday. Now, it’s weird enough that I read one parenting book, since I generally am not interested in knowing what I am doing wrong. But here’s what happened. I picked up this book about communication between mothers and daughters thinking my daughter will be a teenager soon enough, and I should learn to communicate with her. Only, it wasn’t about teenage daughters. It’s about mothers communicating (or not) with their adult daughters.
You’re Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation (Random House Large Print) is really interesting, mostly because my own mother is not of the “You’d be so pretty if you just…” variety. We talk at least once a day, usually about nothing at all. But I could see how some daughters could be highly irritated by mothers who just want the best for them, but don’t know when to leave well enough alone.
While I was finishing that book up, another book came in for me at the library.which was also about motherhood.
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua recounts her decision to raise her daughters in the traditional Chinese way. Strict rules and super-high expectations. They practice their instruments 6 hours a day with their mother standing over them fighting with them every step. And they are brilliant musicians whether they want to be or not. They are also excellent students, except in gym or drama. The real story happens when her younger daughter decides not to follow the gameplan. She rebels and the author has no idea what to do next. It is very interesting, but I don’t think I’ll change my parenting style. I’m okay with my kids not being musical prodigies or first in every competition. I have a life.