Why Do Men Have Nipples?

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You\'d Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third MartiniOK. This is the book that jmfausti sent me because she hated it so much. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. She actually likes me. I think. Well, I mentioned I was going to check it out, so she sent me hers.

Finally, I’ve managed to get through it. Here’s what I think:

These guys are supposed to be adult, professional men, right? Well, they appear never to have graduated from the high school locker room. Dumb jokes and puns and bathroom humor abound. Ok, so the doctor guy answers the questions, but there’s always some goofy little twist.

I thought it was just my female sensibilities being offended, but Michael said he thought it was kind of stupid, too. Now, I realize I married an above par male, but he can probably recognize regular male humor from complete crap.

But maybe, just maybe, having read this book, Michael will quit putting q-tips in his ears.

Dinner with Anna Karenina by Gloria Goldreich

Dinner With Anna Karenina Gotta say, I looove the cover art on this book. The words inside didn’t suck either. It wasn’t the greatest thing I’ve ever read, but the characters definitely seemed real and nobody got cancer. There’s always someone in this type of book that gets cancer. I hate that.

It’s about a book club. A group of women that each love literature. At the first meeting of the year, the one of them that is totally with it announces her divorce. She won’t talk about what happened so they spend the rest of the year guessing. And taking action to improve their own lives.

I liked that they read literature. I like that they read more than one book each time. I love my own book group. I would never have the time and focus to be in such a deep group, but it’s nice to dream. I didn’t like that they thought they were all intellectual in their discussion, but really, it was pretty run of the mill. They sounded a lot like my book group, but just heavier material.

SAHM I am by Meredith Efken

Sahm I Am (Steeple Hill Cafe)Sara at work read this book and “gave” (checked it out to) Judi to read. They then put it on my pile of checkouts. Well, I finally got around to it.

SAHM, for those of you not in the know, stands for Stay At Home Mom. This book is a modern epistolary novel in that it consists entirely of emails from women around the country who belong to a loop group mediated by one of the most annoyingly self-righteous uber-mothers on the planet.

Anyway, this sub-group forms of women who are truly there for each other even though they’ve never met. The group is a Christian group and the women are trying to live by Christian standards, and help each other through their ups and downs.

It was lots of fun to read. I don’t typically go in for “women’s stories” as they are often trite and syrupy, but this one reminded me a lot of The Reading Group by Elizabeth Noble in tone if not in content.

Thanks, guys, for making me read it. Good job.

Winter is on its way!

I know, I know, who gets excited about this stuff? I just realized this year, that I really like seasons. Ok, not summer so much, but when summer sort of melts into spring, as happened here this year, I really miss fall and winter. It’s been really horrible. We’ve had almost no rain, fires and burn bans galore, and 2 days ago it was 75 degrees. In February!!!! I was totally ready to move to Colorado where there is actual snow in winter and the summers aren’t the heinous 104 degrees and 90% humidity we frequently get here. Yeah, yeah. Grass is greener. I hear ya. Plus, Colorado doesn’t have tornadoes.

Doomsday Book by Connie Willis

February’s large book is finished! It was much easier to read than Bleak Doomsday BookHouse.

This book is somewhat of an anomaly in that it takes place in the future and the past. In 2055, Oxford University sends a historian back in time to 1320. But they screw it up and she ends up in 1348. Right when the plague hit Oxford. Future Oxford is hit with a virus of plague proportions right afterward, so it is weeks before they know what’s gone wrong.

It was a neat parallel story of Mr. Dunworthy in future Oxford trying to get Kivrin back from whenever she was, and Kivrin in 1348 meeting people and growing to love them, and then watching the Bubonic Plague take over.

I really liked this book, but I definitely couldn’t read it while eating.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Ok. Michael and I have been married for nigh on 9 years. In the early days, valentine’s day was very impressive. Michael spent lots of time planning. Reservations were made. Gifts were purchased well in advance and hinted about mercilessly for weeks. Then, we had kids and got poor. Valentine’s day often went barely recognized. Maybe a card a few days late after I threw a fit. I wanted to be swept off my feet, and carried away from the housework, and the kid-raising, and the drudgery of life. He was too exhausted to be that guy.

This year, it was different. There was some planning, but it wasn’t elaborate. For weeks we’ve been planning a pizza, a bottle of wine, and an evening spent at home with our family. In the past, I felt Valentine’s day was supposed to be romantic. No unromantic kids to destroy the mood. This year, I was more than happy to share the holiday (you thought I was going to say “share the love”) with my kids.

Alack and alas, it was not to be. Michael found out that he was expected to begin a 10 week class tonight. But you know what? I’m disappointed, but not devastated. You know that old adage about “it’s the thought that counts”? I guess it’s true. The fact that he had planned it, and talked about it, and made the holiday of luv important made it ok when it didn’t happen as planned. It’s OK that we’ll have to try it another day.

Mush Warning: If you think the last bit was mushy and gross, DO NOT read ahead.

Michael, thanks for making sure that I don’t need some sappy holiday to remind you to love me. I feel loved everyday, and we can have Valentine’s day whenever we want. I love you, too.

This is for jmfausti

“We need the man in black.”

“I do not think that means what you think it means.”

“I know something you do not. I am not left-handed.”

“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Dogs of Babel by Caroline Parkhurst

The Dogs of Babel : A NovelThe best thing I can say about this book is that it taught me something about myself. I don’t like books where people don’t behave rationally for the situation they’re in. I spent the first 200 pages of this book being really angry with the main character for acting so crazy.

Let me ‘splain. No. Is too long. Let me sum up.

Paul’s wife fell out of the apple tree in the back yard. Why was she in the apple tree? Why did she cook a steak to feed the dog? Why did she rearrange all the books on the bookshelves? Aha. The dog is a witness. Paul decides to teach the dog to talk so she can tell him what she saw. That is stupid enough, but then he quits his college professor job to devote all his time to this. Now, from what I can tell, he didn’t really do very much. There were piles of “research books” lying around. And he certainly wasn’t cleaning up after himself. But he made this big deal about listing the books that had been rearranged. It took him, like, 6 months to list the books on about 5 shelves.

I won’t give away any more of the plot. I will say that I didn’t think his lovely wife was really all that great. She was histrionic. She threw massive temper tantrums and was a huge drama queen. She whined about feeling she should not have children because who knew what she would do them in a rage? Hmmm. She managed to keep a dog alive. Oh well. I would not have been able to live with this self-obsessed, childish woman.

At about page 200, Paul seemed to snap out of it a little bit. Admittedly, he had to have some help to do it. There is hope for him, yet.

Lorelei the dog is my favorite character. She’s sane.

Now this is interesting…

Michael just set it up so I can see how many visitors I’ve had, etc. The best part is seeing what search engine keywords brought people to my blog. Let’s look at these together, shall we?

First, the ones that make some sense:
1)Jane Fairfax
2) Johnathan Tropper
3)dance worship
4)Christopher Krovatin biography
5)toxic friendships
6)Motley Crue concert set lists

I have to say I feel sorry for the poor folks who were looking for actual information on the above lists and just got me.

Next, the searches that are a little wierd:

1)How to bookmark audiobooks
2)bookmarks go to bed with a good book
3)my friends for heart

These people were obviously looking for something particular. Needless to say, they didn’t find it here.

And now for the piece de resistence. The crowned victor. The mother of all weird search phrases.

Costume husband bra

Yup. And it brought them to my site. Hmmmm.

She’s a foosball wizard.

Ok. Not wizard maybe, but I schooled a couple of fellas last night at a super bowl party. Mike found the foosball table, and motioned me over to play. He said he was a little nervous when I didn’t refuse. He made 4 points on me quick-like, but I came back. When it was 4-5, his game on the pool table came up, so he left. The guy he was supposed to play in pool said, “Hey, I’ll play your wife at foosball, and you play my wife at pool.” Mike said, “Ok. Good luck, dude.”

It was on. I think he had 5 points at the end of the game. In all fairness, I didn’t make all the points myself. He did make 3 points for me, off his own defenders. Needless to say, he didn’t want to play me again. sigh

I never thought I’d say this, Nasty-drug-dealer-boyfriend-from-high-school, but all those hours you made me spend playing foosball with you so you could practice for your tournaments really paid off.

Nerd Girl Rocks Paradise City by Anne Thomas Soffee

Nerd Girl Rocks Paradise City : A True Story of Faking It in Hair Metal L.A.Loved it. I forced myself not to read it so it wouldn’t be over too soon. Luckily, it’s my own copy so I can read it over and over again.

This woman is my hero. She did what I always wanted to do, but was too young. Then, when I was old enough, the hair metal scene in L.A. was over. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t have done it exactly like she did. You know, I probably wouldn’t have had the junkie boyfriendand the pill addiction. But I definitely wanted to live in Hollywood and be surrounded by hunky hair gods.

Oh, right. She did have a goal. She wanted to write for a metal magazine. I would have settled for the day job and the Sunset strip at night.

Coincidences: Besides our love of Rock n Roll… She has worked in juvenile facilities, so have I. Her best friend in L.A. was from Bixby, Oklahoma. I live 2 miles from Bixby. She’s a big lit nerd. I’m a big lit nerd. I’m telling you, I love this woman.

Oh, and she talks about Motley Crue.

Heavy Metal and You by Christopher Krovatin

Being YA fiction, this is not my usual fare, but with a title like Heavy Metal Heavy Metal And Youand You, how could I pass it up? Basically, it’s a boy meets girl story, where the boy finds himself, but the boy in this case is into heavy metal. He references all sorts of bands I listened to in high school. It was great.

It’s written by a guy who will be 21 this year (grrr). I don’t know how he knows all these bands that were popular when I was in high school, but he appears to know of which he speaks. Maybe there is some underground Heavy Metal movement where they still listen to vintage music. Yeah, that’s it. Or maybe, there just isn’t enough new heavy metal music, so they are forced to listen to out-of-date metal. I thnk I’d like to ask him these questions.

Oh, and he mentions Motley Crue. Not necessarily in a good way, but it’s there.